easter week / thursday

On Thursday evening, before the Last Supper, Christ did what his disciples least expected.

"Having provided Himself with a basin and a supply of water, He knelt before each of the Twelve in turn, washed his feet, and wiped them with the towel." - Talmage

If I had been one of the Twelve, my reaction probably would've been similar to Peter's. 

"Lord, dost thou wash my feet?...Thou shalt never wash my feet."

Christ answered: "If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me." 

I have been like Peter more times than I care to admit. 

I have resisted Christ's hand. 

I have neglected to pray when I didn't feel whole. 

I have made plans to overcome faults and run my life, without seeking or accepting His help.

But as Christ lovingly said: If you don't let me wash you, you can't have a part with me.   

We can only be true followers of Christ if we let Him in.  No matter how dirty we are, whether it's our feet or our hearts or our minds,  He can heal us. 

Not only that, but he desires to heal us because he loves us more than we'll ever know. 

I wish I could have been there that night to feel the quiet and powerful Spirit in that room as Jesus Christ - Master, Creator, and God - washed the feet of his beloved disciples.

Following the washing, Christ instituted the sacrament. 

He asked the disciples to eat and drink in remembrance of his body and blood. At the time, they didn't fully understand what he meant because he hadn't performed the Atonement yet. 

But what's so cool is that I get to partake of the same sacrament every Sunday and I have the advantage of understanding the sacrifice he made and what the bread and water really mean. 

Christ's church is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

Christ knew that in order for His grace to heal and save us, we would need to remember Him, so he designed the sacrament. 

It's a small thing, but through each piece of bread I've eaten and cup of water I've drank on Sunday I've grown closer and closer to my Savior in remembering who He is and what He's done for me. Eventually, that will add up to loaves and gallons, literally and spiritually. 

After exhorting his disciples to love one another as he had loved them, Christ walked with them to the Garden of Gethsemane. 

This was the site of what has been called "the greatest event of humankind." 

Through The Atonement, Christ suffered more than I will ever comprehend; every physical pain, temptation, affliction, sickness, broken heart, and sin of all mankind from Adam to the end of the world. 

"For behold, I God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent." D&C 19:16

I love the powerful detail given by James E Talmage in "Jesus the Christ"...

"He went farther; and was soon enveloped by deep sorrow, which appears to have been, in a measure, surprising to Himself, for we read that He "began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy." And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying O my Father, if it be possible let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.  Mark's version of the prayer is: Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me; nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt."

"Christ's agony in the garden is unfathomable by the finite mind, both as to intensity and cause. The thought that He suffered through fear of death is untenable. He struggled and groaned under a burden such as no other being who has lived on earth might even conceive as possible."

"And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. It was not physical pain, nor mental anguish alone, that caused Him to suffer such torture as to produce an extrusion of blood from every pore; but a spiritual agony of soul such as only God was capable of experiencing. No other man, however great his powers or physical or mental endurance, could have suffered so."

I used to imagine Christ suffering alone, but this painting illustrates that he wasn't alone. 

After finding the disciples asleep three times, "He went to His lonely vigil and individual struggle, and was heard to implore the Father with the same words of yearning entreaty. Luke tells us that "there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him" 

The angel couldn't take away his suffering, but I imagine that he helped Christ feel of His Father's love for him, even during incredible pain.

"From the terrible conflict in Gethsemane, Christ emerged a victor. The further tragedy of the night, and the cruel inflictions that awaited Him on the morrow, to culminate in the frightful tortures of the cross, could not exceed the bitter anguish through which He had successfully passed."

I love that last phrase by Talmage. Christ emerged a victor, but not a victor for himself. 

He won the victory for me, and all of us. 

I bear testimony that Christ did suffer in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

He suffered for all, but I am confident that if I had been the only one, he would have suffered still.

He loves each of us infinitely and perfectly. 

I love my Savior.

I am forever indebted to Him and I look forward to the day when I can bathe his feet with my tears.

My faith, then, will be a perfect knowledge. But until then, my faith is unshaken.