JERUSALEM

BYU Jerusalem Center study abroad Winter 2018-- one of the highlights of my entire life.

When I look back at these pictures, a flood of feelings and memories come back: the rushing wind from the 7th floor balcony, the sounds of the Old City, and the taste of warm falafel. 

Here is a journal entry I wrote on one of my last weeks in Jerusalem:

07 April 2018

It’s a Saturday (Sabbath) afternoon. I’m sitting underneath an olive tree on the south side of the Jerusalem Center. We have 18 days left here. And I feel this heart-wrenching sadness like I want to hold onto this city and these experiences and never let go. I am so grateful for this experience.

Yesterday I was studying Christ’s mission as part of my New Testament project and I felt His Spirit so tenderly during that study. I felt God telling me that I have changed. I recognized within myself an increase in love for Christ and an increased understanding of what he’s done for me. In some ways, I had forgotten God in the year between my mission and Jerusalem. I had grown a lot but I had forsaken many of the small and simple things that I need to keep me grounded. Even here, I’m still not perfect. But my love for the scriptures, my sense of the sacred, my love for other people, and my relationship with my Savior has been strengthened. What a special place this is. And more than that, what special people I’ve been able to rub shoulders with in the past few months. They have blessed my life so much. I still remember vividly a prayer I offered in my first week here asking for an opportunity to be more open and kind and form more relationships here. That prayer was answered in a way I didn’t expect when Dr. Huff asked me to be class president. But how grateful I am for that opportunity — it has made it easier to connect with others, see the good in everyone, get to know my teachers and faculty, and understand better what kind of leader I want to be. 

My favorite moments on this trip have been the quiet ones. The ones that stand out in my mind right now — accompanying the choir singing Take Time to Be Holy, studying at the Garden of Gethsemane, rejoicing with hundreds of Christians at the Garden Tomb (I guess that doesn’t really count as a “quiet” moment:), sitting on the shores of Capernaum, looking at the trees blowing in the wind after the Mount of Beatitudes that Sabbath Day in Galilee, listening to the mass by candlelight at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, my first time at the Western Wall, sitting on the lawn of the Center reading and pondering, conversations with friends on the bus, Dr. Hilton’s silent class on Christ’s final hours, singing Behold the Wounds in Jesus’ Hands for Easter, and the Thursday night before Easter walking in the pouring rain to Caiaphas’ house. 

There are many more. 

I am so excited to come back in the next 10 years with my spouse and share with him the places I’ve been. I am even more excited to come back in 20 years with my children and let them feel what I’ve felt here. 

I am so thankful that God gave me a few months of relative clarity to reflect on my life, where I see myself in the next years, and have tender experiences that will be my rock as I move forward. 

My goal is to soak in these last few weeks. Especially the visit of President Nelson and Elder Holland, what a privilege it will be to meet them and shake their hands. I know that President Nelson is called of God. I know that the living Christ is the Head of this living Church. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that families are eternal and that God has a knowledge and love for us individually that we cannot comprehend. I love my Savior. I stand amazed and confused at his willingness to die for me and take upon him such an overwhelming burden so that I can be free one day. I am grateful for the gift of repentance and the opportunity to continue progressing and growing in this work. 

JORDAN. Holy what a trip! I can’t pick a favorite day of the semester but if I HAD to then the second day we were in Jordan is up there on my favorites. The first day, we traveled across the border, had the fun experience of security at the checkpoints, met our tour guide (grew up as Bedouin boy in Petra, so cool!), saw some sites (Machaerus where John the Baptist was beheaded) and Mt Nebo (where some believe Moses was buried although we know he was translated), had dinner, and then did PETRA BY NIGHT. How cool ?!?

Apparently on the way there Dr. Grey was saying that we should skip Petra and instead see some more excavated sites along the route we took to Jordan — when I heard that I was like ABSOLUTELY NOT. Hahaha Petra by night was so amazing! We walked through the Siq (think walking through a canyon path at Zion National Park or something), felt the cool air, saw the stars with incredible clarity, and reached the treasury! There were dozens and dozens of paper bag lights strewn around the courtyard in front of the treasury. It was quiet and peaceful (besides the sound of the couple hundred people who were talking softly) Some dude gave some talk about love and creation haha which was actually cool because he talked about noticing the glory around us — the stars, the rock, etc. Being mindful. Then they lit up the treasury in different colors! It is really amazing that man could have created something so incredibly intricate and beautiful. Actually, ASTOUNDING and mind boggling. They carved this stuff out of STONE. 

Anyways, treasury at nigh was awesome, but the treasury by day was even better! Our tour guide did some explaining to us for the first hour-is and then we were FREEEE! We ended up following Dr. Huff to the end of the earth (quite literally) That day I think we hiked like 12 miles, 26000 steps, and 108 floors if I remember correctly. We went to the high place of sacrifice (which, come to think of it, I don’t know why it was significant but I can guess that it was a sacrifice place for the Nabateans way back when). We hiked to the monastery, saw some awesome rocks, formations, colors, sand, and people along the way — and then we had lunch! I have never been so excited for food in my life. Then we kept on hiking! Eventually we took pictures in front of the treasury: 

         

         

We were EXHAUSTED by the time it was over and we had a long drive ahead of us to get to Amman! That night there was going to be a devotional thing at the chapel and 2 converts were going to speak. I was like “no way I am so exhausted I just want to sleep” but I decided to go anyways and I am SO GLAD I went. Wow this couple’s story was incredible. They are the first Arab couple sealed in the temple, EVER. Their son who is a toddler is the first Arab Mormon to be born EVER. They face a ton of opposition as members of the church in Jordan but they have remained faithful because of how happy and what a difference in the Spirit they have when they attend church. their testimonies were so sweet and my heart was touched by how much God loves His children. He is serious when he says that every nation, kindred, tongue, and people will hear the gospel. He means it. And although it may seem impossible at times in some locations (Israel, I’m thinking of you) he will work miracles so that those people one day can have the truth.

I feel bad that Sarah W was my roommate in Jordan because I don’t think I said more than 5 words when we were in that room. I just died every time we got there at night and I was probably pretty out of it in the mornings. The next 2 days of Jordan are a bit of a blur…. at some point we went to a mosque, the ruins of Jerash, the Jabbok river, and briefly a museum?! I do remember that when we got to the museum they told us that there were maintenance issues so most of the exhibits were closed except for the dead sea scrolls and one other. So instead of 2 and a half hours there, we only had to be there for a half hour !!! I am not kidding when I say I cried tears. I was so exhausted by that point and soooooo mentally done with field trips. Field trip fatigue is REAL I tell you. I kind of wish I had paid attention more to our professors and tour guides but then again, I don’t think I COULD have!!! There just comes a point, especially when archaeology and history are not your interest, that you mentally check out. That’s why I loved the hiking in Petra day. We were moving the whole time and seeing some amazing things. It wasn’t full of long bus rides, walking and stopping and walking and stopping and listening. Maybe I just don’t learn well with a lecture format… that’s probably it. Anyways, I didn’t get much else out of jordan except that I was with the people I love laughing about the travails of a study abroad program and taking pictures of cool things! 

After Jordan, we had no time to recover because President Nelson and Elder Holland were coming !!! I feel like the luckiest girl in the entire world to have been in Jerusalem THIS semester. I got to sing for a prophet of God, how cool is that?! 

The night they got there, Friday night, we were just having a normal Friday night at the Center! Haha I think earlier we had gone out into the city but we were back in the evening and we knew they were getting there around 6pm so after dinner we were all just hanging around the 6th floor (some people strategically placed themselves near an elevator or on the landing of the 5th floor stairs so that they would see them walk in lol) I saw a glimpse of Elder Holland! Some people got to shake hands. I think at some point I practiced the piece I would be playing for the women’s session. But I was also feeling really off that day. Idk what the deal was, I was just kind of sad and down about life. I certainly did not feel prepared to hear a prophet of God and receive revelation (much less stand one foot behind him and sing into his ear!!) But I just prayed and went to bed and hoped that the next day would be better. And it was! I woke up early to straighten my hair and prepare for the day. At breakfast I asked Dr. Huff how things were going (since he was so busy that weekend with different responsibilities) he said “it’s okay…” and looked worried and I was like NOOOOO! What happened?! (in my head) At first I was worried that President nelson was sick or something and wouldn’t be able to speak at all. Luckily, that was not the case! BUT, that night, the US, France, and Britain decided to air strike Syria (super bad timing) so they were severely worried about President Nelson’s travel plans since he had planned to fly through that airspace. Apparently when it all went down, Church security wanted to move President Nelson THAT NIGHT but Mr. Hayet (always saving the day) was able to convince them to let him stay until after the conference. But everything after district conference was cancelled — the filming he was going to do at the garden tomb, our trip to Galilee with him on Sunday afternoon, etc. We were so heartbroken!! Dr. Kearl broke the news more officially at our 8:50 choir practice and we were pretty bummed — but the show goes on! I just kept telling myself: “Just be grateful you had him for a day!” I was honestly a little worried about our choir numbers because we hadn’t had a lot of time to practice with the Jordan trip (although I made everyone practice on the bus ride to Israel on the last leg of the Jordan trip lol) but they turned out really well! The first meeting was separated: priesthood and the women’s session. Sister Holland and Sister Nelson spoke!! I can’t access my notes because they’re in my backpack and I’m squeezed in the middle of two people on this flight to SLC. But what I DO remember is Sister Nelson talking about “practicing being strong”. They really are incredible women. As Sister Nelson said about Sister Holland and Sheri Dew (oh yeah Sheri Dew was here too!): “These women have paid the price to know the Lord’s will concerning women” or something like that. 

This is something I have thought a lot about. Paying the price. Delving into my scriptures, prayers, taking time to be holy, increasing in knowledge and wisdom, it’s what I’m lacking in my life. 

Anyways, I received a lot of answers about the Holy Ghost that weekend. It’s almost this need and void that I didn’t know I had, that was filled as that conference took place. Oh yeah, and our musical number for that session was beautiful! It was Come Follow Me and I played piano (I LOVE that piano!). It was a cool arrangement with different lyrics than the normal hymn. Music is one of my favorite ways to worship.

We had a luncheon with the branch members in between sessions — and I got to talk to Danny and Ashley! What an awesome couple. They are always building me up along with everyone around them! They are so incredibly sweet. I love them! 

Then the general session came! Since it was district conference we got to sustain ALL the church leaders as a district. Let me tell you, sustaining President Nelson as he sat 10 feet in front of me was the coolest experience. I know that he is a prophet, seer, and revelator. Beyond his incredible kindness, charitable personality, and ability to receive revelation, he is a REAL, dynamic, and funny person! He is imperfect. But he is the Lord’s anointed for this point in time for our Church. I felt powerfully of his sincere love for us, which I know is God’s love that he is just sending our way :) 

Our musical numbers went well for this session! We were actually able to sing Each Cooing Dove since our Galilee trip was cancelled so that was awesome! We messed up a little because we had been practicing the A CAPELLA version and those who were ushering weren’t at the morning practice. So we messed up on the chorus. I was hoping no one would notice, but then Sister Holland gets up literally right after that and says ‘That is one of my absolute favorite hymns that my mom would sing to me all the time when I was young” And we were like oh snap! She totally noticed our mistake, then. haha! Still such a beautiful, treasured moment. “I long oh how, I long once more, to follow Him in Galilee” 

Again, my notes aren’t accessible right now but I do know that Elder Holland shared the story of Christ calming the storm when he was asleep on the boat with his disciples. I love the detail he pointed out: before they even crossed the sea, he said “Let us pass over to the other side”. Elder Holland emphasized: Christ was going to get them across. He knew it would all work out. Sometimes in the storms of our lives, we can only focus on what’s right in front of us. The storm, the tragedy, the inconvenience, the mishap, the hard thing. We wonder if we’ll ever make it, but we forget that Christ has said: LET US PASS TO THE OTHER SIDE. Aka let’s go. I’m with you. We will get through this together. 

President Nelson talked about the rich symbolism of the Holy Land and also testified of the Restoration and spoke of Joseph Smith’s story. We obviously haven’t focused much on the Restoration since being here but every time I hear a teaching or testimony about it, when I read the Book of Mormon, and ponder on my own testimony of Joseph Smith as a prophet, there is a literal burning in my bosom. It is tangible. It is powerful. I know beyond any doubt that God has restored his Church to the earth today. He loves all of his children. He wants us to have latter-day guidance for the specific things we go through in our lives, right now. 

I just felt incredible peace as I listened to the prophet, Elder Holland, and their wives speak. I gained another, sure witness from the Holy Ghost that it is all true. All of it. After President Nelson’s remarks, we all got up to sing I know that My Redeemer Lives. I was RIGHT behind President Nelson — like I had to make sure my binder didn’t hit his head, I was that close. As people were still getting up, he turned around, looked into my eyes, smiled, and put out his hand to squeeze mine. I think in that moment it hit me. The prophet of God just squeezed my hand. I felt such incredible love. It was like God had been sitting there and did the same to me. My eyes were blinded by tears as I sang the first verse of that hymn: “I Know that My Redeemer Lives, what comfort this sweet sentence gives, he lives, he lives who once was dead, he lives, my ever living Head. He lives, my hungry soul to feed. He lives, to bless in time of need. He lives, to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above.”

I am confident, and maybe this is just my personal opinion, that the Priesthood and church leadership is in place so that God can squeeze our hands, look into our eyes, help, uplift, succor, satisfy, and comfort us through his chosen servants. Those men sacrifice so much, because they know and have sure witnesses, that it is all true. 

The rest of the day was very surreal. I said goodbye to Danny and Ashley, took a nap (probably more from the spiritual exhaustion than anything else), ate dinner, took pictures with everyone on the terrace, and tried let the Spirit of the day sink in! 

Grateful, grateful, grateful. I feel incredibly grateful for that sweet experience. 

Since President Nelson’s visit: we went to the Dead Sea, took all our finals, I wrote one of the worst papers I have ever written for ANE (field trip fatigue can be extended to history/archaeology fatigue in general lol), had a beautiful Upper Room experience remembering the Savior’s final hours, and WENT TO TEL AVIV! 

I am so glad that we spent the day in Tel Aviv on Sunday — it was exactly what I needed. Relaxing, a new scene, some good Vitamin D, and the beautiful Mediterranean! We honestly spent like 6 hours at the beach and it was divine! I’m an idiot and missed a whole section of my upper arms when I put sunscreen on so I had a nice giant red blotch for the rest of the week but whatever! After the beach, we walked to Sarona Market and I had the best white chocoloate macadamia nut cookie of my life. Then we started walking back to the beach so that we could be there for the sunset! Except that we didn’t time it right, so we ended up SPRINTING the last mile to get there and just barely saw the sun hit the water. This was after Sarah W and I had already gone running on the beach, so it was a tiring day! After watching the sunset, we just hung out on the dark beach until it was time to walk back towards Jaffa and get picked up. Lol Sarah Kunzler had quite the event on the beach! As she tells it: she was on her way walking to the bathroom when this super tall, super hot israeli guy checks her out and says *in a thick, beautiful accent* “hey, you’re going the wrong way. Beach is that way” So she was like “oh, yeah?” and started talking to him. They ended up having this long conversation and at the end he asked her out for drinks!! hahaha. She pulled the “I can’t ditch my friends and we’re leaving soon” excuse but SHE WANTED SO BADLY TO SAY YES hahaha. “I was just gonna order sprite, guys”. So she had to say goodbye to him and he gave her this long, lingering hug with their faces touching. She said he was super toned, lol. We got a lot of laughs about that. Then I posted it on my instagram story so literally everyone at the Center, including our professors, was teasing her about it for dayssss. Love my Sarah girl. Such a great day in Tel Aviv.

The next two days were Last Week of Jesus’ Life field trips! We went to Bethany, Bethphage, the Upper Room, the cenacle, Dormition Abbey, Garden of Gethsemane, Orson Hyde Garden, Church of the Flagellation, Pool of Bethesda, and the Garden Tomb! 

What a packed couple days. It was so fun to retrace our steps in a way and do a lot of pondering. Some highlights: sharing Grandma Rita’s primary song at Bethphage, pondering the story of Mary and Martha at Bethany, getting caught in the middle of a raging bar mitzvah outside of the Cenacle, pondering the Restoration at the Orson Hydge Garden, listening to my friends’ testimonies in a secluded area of the Mount of Olives after reading the Gethsemane scriptures, and singing hymns at the Garden Tomb! 

I’m so grateful for the memories that each of the places depicted above hold. In each of them, I have felt holiness, peace, and instruction. I know that you don’t have to literally walk where Jesus walked in order to be like him, but I’m so glad I did. More than anything, it gave me a direct, set-apart time to focus on Him.

Jerusalem will always have a special piece of my heart. 

Here's to the pursuit of a holy life in remembrance of all I learned in the Holy Land. 

To read more posts about Jerusalem, start with this link and work your way back in the archives!
http://christineparks.blogspot.com/2018/04/holy-week-continued.html