why I chose the single life

Disclaimer: I had no accusatory or judgmental agenda in writing this, just personal experience on something I believe in. It's been sitting as a draft for a while now, I don't know what was stopping me from posting it. So here goes. 

I'll be 19 years old in 3 months and I've never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy.  

Wow she has lived under a rock. 

Not quite. 

If I wanted to, there was nothing stopping me.  

I've had dudes make a move. 

I've been told I'm beautiful. 

I've had dates to prom.

I've received flowers and lengthy texts. 
And, (wait for it) I've liked guys. 

So why not? 

Boyfriends and kissing aren't inherently bad. 

In fact, they're necessary pre-cursors to a future lasting relationship. 

So why?

I have two answers. 

Here's the high school answer: 

A relationship was worth more to me. 

I knew that no matter how great the guy was; attractive, talented, spiritual, etc,  I wasn't ready. 

Me, Christine Parks, was not emotionally, spiritually, or mentally ready for a steady relationship in high school. 

As teenagers we think we're ready.

Or maybe we don't and we just fall for the guy/girl because, hormones.

But we’re not ready to do it for the right reasons.

All too often I've seen relationships built on physical attraction, and that just isn’t worth it to me. 

So when is it worth it? 

It’s worth it when you're ready to get to know people on a dating level as preparation for a true, lasting relationship. i.e. marriage. 

So high school is definitely not the time. 

Even though other people might say otherwise, I didn't miss out on anything by living the single life in high school. I had an awesome experience with awesome guys who I admired and spent time with. Some of them are still my absolute best friends. 

Steady dating was right in front of me, but I turned it down because I hold it to a higher standard.  

Lucky for me, my church backs me up. 

We've been encouraged by church leaders not to steady date until we’re young adults.

Some may disagree with that, and it may be hard to follow, but I know that it’s inspired counsel and
it is worth it. 

Think about it. You can get to know a ton of different people and have all the fun times with zero drama or heartache. Naturally we want the affection part, but if we can control that impulse, we get all the other benefits of solid friendships. 

Then, “as you enter your adult years, make dating and marriage a high priority.” 

Relationships are seriously great - even a priority. But at the right time. 

My college answer: 

Dating guys one-on-one is awesome, valuable, fun, and important.  I learn a lot from them, I see qualities I'd want in a future husband, and I learn how to be a better me. 

But. 

As far as a boyfriend goes, I'm preparing for a mission and leaving in a couple months. 

Don't get me wrong, I didn't walk in determined to leave freshman year single and I'm still not opposed to the boyfriend thing, I'm just not looking for it right now. 

And that, my friends, is why I was single in high school, why I'm single now, and why I'll be single for the next 2 years. 

I value a relationship enough to do it for the right reasons, and I know it'll be worth it.
(Plus Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" is my jam) 

In the words of Imagine Dragons, “Your time will come if you wait for it.”